Splitting Hairs

Part 1 of Epic Mini-Series: God is Good. Mullets are Bad.

Straight up, way back in the 19th chapter of Leviticus: GOD outlawed the mullet. Now, before all you supposedly southern gentlemen leave and cuss me out, HE SAID IT, not me:

“Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.”

 Leviticus 19:27

Amongst a whole host of Divine Policies and Procedures – an entire Book of them, really – GOD tells His chosen elect, the Jewish people, a couple decades before they’d even enter the Promised Land, that when He sends them into the continual party of milk and honey – they can enjoy all that bounty and goodness and spoil – but they were absolutely forbidden from the business of keeping it high and tight on the sides of their head. 

On its face, it feels like an odd mandate.  I mean, it’s an era long before fedoras – so, long hair was already THE practical natural means for keeping the sun off the back of your neck. 

But not just that! Way back in ancient times, flowing sideburns was also indicative of STATUS: luscious locks were celebrated as lore and symbolic of Divine Providence. 

Men that had heads full of follicles were considered highly favored by the LORD.  Women married to men with glorious manes would count themselves amongst the most blessed by GOD Most High.  

What I’m saying is: in general, society held both then, and throughout the span of Holy Scripture – front to back – the more whiskers on your head, the more social – and spiritual – worth you must have had. 

So, why then, an Old Testament rule about haircuts? 

Why would GOD command the ancient Israelites NOT to do something they wouldn't want to do – since, long hair was always in season and the señoritas and the socialites would only look down upon it – anyway?

It would be like me making a turducken-bacon sandwich at the kitchen counter and as I reach for the fat-free mayo, GOD randomly drops in my spirit:

 “Thou shalt not have a colonoscopy every 3 months.”

THAT is a good Word.  I receive it!

Now, do I think GOD really cares about our actual cuts of hair? 

Probably not. 

Do I think that some of the most famous mulletteers in history – Rod Stewart, that guy that played MacGyver, Billy Ray Cyrus (or Miley Cyrus for that matter) – or roughly 3/4 of any rural Georgia high school football team are eternally damned?

Not because of their haircuts, no.

SO, THIS SEEMS POINTLESS. 

But GOD’s Word doesn’t return void, which is another way of saying He doesn’t waste His time nor His Breath with useless rules and regs. 

Why then, does GOD outlaw something years before the Israelites would even see it? 

Let alone when they see it, they probably would NOT want it?  

Is this Old Testament rule about haircuts really about haircuts?

I can’t help but feel there MUST be something between the lines for GOD’s cowlick concerns.

Let’s find out!

God is Good. Mullets are Bad. “Splitting Hairs”  Behold(en), still. Copyright © 2023-25 Behold(en), still.